Since Xanga has undergo a complete overhaul and I am have been waiting over a couple of weeks to have the free section of that blog up and running, but I am grateful that I have numerous blogs to post in only I don’t know what topics to touch base on. I’ve decided to start small and work my way up. Let’s see what in store for me and this blog, but also for my other blogs as well which have been waiting patiently for me to start posting again.
Since my last post my five year old cat receive his surgery and is doing very well. I’ve begun to put what I have learned from Joseph Murphy and Bob Proctor said about exercising my mind to change the paradigm inside so that the outside will change. I’ve begun to notice the change I’ve begun praying to my infinite intelligence and using switchwords which was recently discovered while I was experience the obstacles with my cat.
I have begun to pack for a new adventure as my block will be transforming into a 480 spot parking garage but I am excited with the idea that I get to see other houses because it’s time for a new change. I’ve started packing to make it easier to move when we find that one house that will suit our requirements.
My referral business has been experiencing some ups and downs as well as my ads are being flagged left and right but I am determined to stick with it because all this flagging is just going to lead me to a gold mine where I will find serious individuals who will do there monthly shopping and work as a team to build there businesses.
I have started to look deep within myself for my Core Values, I realize how important it is from me to discover them as it will help generate a continual income on a daily basics. I’ve slowly down to a crawl as I don’t want to move forward until I discover those core values. I noticed that I procrastinate when it comes to drastic changes in my life. I never finished those courses that will change my life at such a drastic rate that I hit the terror barrier and bounce right off.
I’ve come to say that enough is enough, I realized that the fear is there but I am going to crash through that terror barrier to keep moving forward as I know that good I can when I am financially stable will go far.
This passed week has been an interested adventure as one of my cats started to experience the first stage of urinary obstruction. He spent the whole week at the animal clinic until yesterday I decided to take him to another hospital to get a surgery done that will make it easier for him to go to the bathroom.
The doctor are first frowned at what the other doctor had told me about putting him down but as soon as they discovered the paying half of the process was way out of my price range. After the doctor for this other clinic found out that I couldn’t pay them half for the process she did recommend that I put him down.
I had to think about what’s best for him, I won’t be at the animal clinic if I was thinking about myself. I am broke, I have no money left for anything. I still have an outstand balance at the first clinic I took him to. But they made it seem like it was my fault that he got sick and that I didn’t have to money to pay then or the simple fact that my job is unreliable.
I signed a release form saying the doctor doesn’t recommend that I take him but I couldn’t leave him because they weren’t going to care for him at all with the money they want me to give to them. They were practically kicking us out the door, I was so upset but I decided not to show it. I paid the bill not wanting to own those people anything.
The atmosphere in the hospital was heavy for me and I don’t plan on going back there. I will find somewhere else where they do that type of surgery. On the drive home, I lost all respect for mankind. When did money became first priority? When did people’s pets become a liability? I had never been so disappointment in the human race like I was that day.
I know not all people are like that but those that are, I went through the reason why they had turn us away with out the slightest hint that we would be welcome if we didn’t have the amount required to proceed with the surgery. I understand they are offering service that we must pay but I offer a some money to even though it was a small amount to start with and I would pay it over time. That was not good enough.
Animal hospital are there to help people’s pet, but this clinic to the higher ups ‘cracking down on them,’ they could offer us nothing but a couple of phone numbers to call to see if those organizations that help us foot the bill. I was in the room for about two hours but I felt more like I was taking up space and they just wanted us out.
I was polite I thanked everyone for all there help but I left that place really disappointed in how they had treated us but on that ride home. I though to myself they don’t how else to be as no one knew how to teach them any different. That thought helped me to find inner peace with me taking him home as he would be better offer here then with them.
And he has been doing a lot better since coming home. I am doing all I can on my end to gather that money together but I plan to take him else where to get the surgery.
If you are interested in donating here is the link: Help Jasper Get A PU
I’ve been reading a lot about the subconscious mind since before I left for my retreat and during my retreat I decided to go looking inside than searching on the outside for answer. Many times I keep hearing phrase of we can’t afford this, we cant afford that. I decided that I had enough of others deciding for me what I can and cannot afford.
I decided to take what I know since all I had with me was my I-pod, use everything I had in there plus what I had learn and put into practice. I’ve re-learned a lot about myself within that time frame of two weeks. During which time, I didn’t really eat that much but I did spend the time either mediating or sleeping.
Even now after I’ve come back home, I am still in that vibration where I am going to get things done whether I like it or not. I am focusing on my wants and keep moving forward, clean up all the energy that no longer benefits because I know now that financial freedom won’t only benefit me but those around me.
Recently since I arrive back from my two week retreat, I’ve learned a lot of things about myself throughout that time and I am putting a lot of what I’ve learned into action since I’ve gotten back.
A lot things are happening since than, I am looking for a joy of being in a different ways. Things are revealed to me during the time I sub at my work this past week, I learned that they are budgeting hours for each week and they can’t go over.
I didn’t realize how the scarcity mindset has such a strangle hold on people that they aren’t realizing what they are doing to other people, those people allow because they don’t know any other way to be.
I have decided to distant myself for that type of reality into a reality where people care for other people, where they help to build you up instead of knocking you down. I am interested in creating an atmosphere for people to come and work but only that build lasting relationships in the process.
For the past couple of weeks, I have been experiencing a lot of ups and downs. Due to that I have been doing a lot of shifting of energy, deleting and unplugging for things that are no longer beneficial for me. I am spending a lot more time seeking out the stillness within my heart center. A lot things coming on the outside that are reflecting how I am feeling on the inside. Right at the moment, my family and myself are going through some rough loops on the to roller coaster ride but somehow someway I know things are going to work themselves out for the highest good of all involved.
For the past couple of days, I have been handling a challenge. Everything I had learned for the past two years went out the window, I fell into despair when I learn the my oldest cat of thirteen years has about two month left to live. I find that now I have to put what I have learned where my mouth is. For the first two days, I cried more than I have in my entire life but I haven’t realized I was falling into despair.
I become violent ill physical similar to those who become violently ill when they see a dead person or blood. The first two days were like that. I had to force myself to go to get more wet for my eldest cat to give him the medication. I can still smile and I am polite to everyone I met but the smile never quite reaches my eyes.
I was convinced to go to Seaside Heights for the day. I sent the day away, as we were getting closer I felt myself sinking back to where I as before I left. The no wanting to go, trying to live my life as normally as possible. Everyone keeps telling me that only I realized that people telling me and me doing it is two different things.
I am still processing the information that was given to me but I am feeling a little better everyday knowing that my eldest cat still has so fight left in him to keeping going for as long as he wants and he is comfortable.