The course that I have been challenging. It also has help to shed some light on those areas in my life that I need to strengthen. I’ve been doing pretty good up to this point until it came to charting the lines. I don’t know which direction to take them. I have been studying the charting more and more these days as this Saturday is the last class along with the certification. I am be doing a lot of reviewing in the next upcoming days.
I have been quiet distracted lately with do’s which has drawn me away from my joys like writing poetry and my writing period. A good friend said it best, “I have a case of the ‘fuck yous.’ I found myself being suffocating the by this present of being that I am in or rather I found myself wrapped up in before I realized where I was. I have given a lot of thoughts to what I want to and where I want to be in the next six years only those vision still remain unclear to me at present. I can tell you this, I am don’t want to repeat the last six years.
My clarity has been muddy lately which has made my focus as well as little shaky. So I’ve withdrawn literally and figuratively from the world for a while so that I can return to nature itself. Nature itself simply is. Nature doesn’t think about what tomorrow will bring only what today is.
My present situation is that I lack motivation and each day that past I drop more into the abyss of apathy. I have noticed this tread when I take on more than I am ready to take on. Not only that presently work we have been in graduation mode since the beginning of this month and let me tell you that I am not at my most tolerant during this month.
I got swallowed up by this sea of intolerance as I deal with all sorts of people every day these past weeks. Not to mention that I have begun to give seriously thought to my health and well-being during this time. I have noticed that this month doesn’t do me well at all to work. Too much going and I can easy get sucked it my it all. Although I have done much better this year then in past years but its still trying to deal with so many people.
I look forward to going home to the sanctuary of my room, burn some incense and just de-stress from the day. I have so many things going on within my head that I am looking forward to doing things differently as the mundane just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To top it off I have started to learn a new trade, I have taken up learning about divas and nature spirits on top of Ascended Numerology both have been a fascinating experience but I have learned that mix the mundanes of my present circumstance with this learning a new trade were bogs down the gears, I guess you can say.
That relentless pursuit of a dream
can be abusive, never-ending and
driven like a nail into a piece of
wood only difference is that the
nail meets it end, for the pursuit
of a person for dreams of a better
life can been like a hungry being
feed in that moment only not to
have enough food to feed it again.
Pursuit are a good only when they
are blinding like sunset and glaring
into your window.
Temporary are the lives we live,
even with the mistakes we make.
Its what we do when we make those
mistakes that matter. Its how we go
about living our lives that make
each moment more precious than
the last when we remember that our
lives are temporary but we are here
to live it the best we can.
Bitter is the life we lead
when emotions are stuck
out from us by a society
that wish us to see only
in black and white. When
society takes away your
reason beyond making
money and hording it.
Exposed for who we are
there is nothing for us to
fear when society is looking
the other way, only noticing
how we shine.
The iron grip of control
has begun to shift, those
at the top scramble to find
ways of maintaining it. Only
they manage more and more
each day to dissolve the
suspension cable that held is in
their grips for to long. For that’s
what we were, suspend, believing
they had our best interest at heart.
But when looking further withing
we find a charred thing, and at the
root what keeps their machine
running is the parasite of greedy.
Fueling them to move forward, but
fuel is starting to run out because their
control has started slip between their
fingers just like the means they use
to keep up under their spell.