Musings

Got Hit Harder

For the past couple of days, I have been handling a challenge. Everything I had learned for the past two years went out the window, I fell into despair when I learn the my oldest cat of thirteen years has about two month left to live. I find that now I have to put what I have learned where my mouth is. For the first two days, I cried more than I have in my entire life but I haven’t realized I was falling into despair.

I become violent ill physical similar to those who become violently ill when they see a dead person or blood. The first two days were like that. I had to force myself to go to get more wet for my eldest cat to give him the medication. I can still smile and I am polite to everyone I met but the smile never quite reaches my eyes.

I was convinced to go to Seaside Heights for the day. I sent the day away, as we were getting closer I felt myself sinking back to where I as before I left. The no wanting to go, trying to live my life as normally as possible.  Everyone keeps telling me that only I realized that people telling me and me doing it is two different things.

I am still processing the information that was given to me but I am feeling a little better everyday knowing that my eldest cat still has so fight left in him to keeping going for as long as he wants and he is comfortable.

 

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